How do you know if you're a "garbage" friend?

According to Silvia Congost, a psychologist and expert in self-esteem, in her book "Toxic People", “ Friends, like partners, are chosen . You have the freedom to decide who to meet, who to get to know, and who to open up to.”

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However, It doesn't always happen in such a healthy way : Sometimes our friends become "toxic" to us, which means that They cease to be links that bring us well-being in our lives. .

Toxic relationships, Congost reports, "sometimes occur with people who do not have any personality disorder, but who They alter and disturb our inner peace and our mental calm ”.

The main clue to identifying whether we're dealing with a toxic friendship lies in how we feel. If "we feel worse than before we met them, either because they've drained our energy or because a comment has made us feel bad, we could be talking about a toxic person in our circle of friends," the expert points out.

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These types of people are characterized by being “ the trash can in which they [the "toxic" friends] can vomit everything they need when they feel bad .”

It is possible to detect this type of people, since They expect you to always be available , both to listen to them—even if it's in the middle of the night—and to offer them a solution, advice, or recommendation, that is, to act as a psychologist altruistically.

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In this relationship, while you may feel good about being there and helping your friendship, The problem comes when you realize that they are not paying attention to what you have told them. .

The worst thing is that, as long as you are the garbage friend and you have problems, you will not be heard, because "what [toxic people] demonstrate is that They don't care in the least what happens to you , because they only care about themselves.”

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The expert's advice is, although simple, difficult to carry out, as she recommends "doing a job to strengthen self-esteem and understand where the wounds come from", it is also necessary "that distance yourself from that person "At least temporarily, because she will feel much calmer from the moment she decides to step aside."

With information from CuídatePlus .

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